If any nation can milk its brave history it is England. This has nothing to do with the movie, but I’ve read Jane Eyre recently and it was like – um… I need a slutty character for this point in my English self-congratulatory book. I’ll make her French! And then the wench’s daughter will move to England and improve her faulty character as result of fresh English air. Is there ever a piece of art that makes England look bad? Chris says thrhthrth!

Note: I don’t mean disrespect. I’m just jealous.