I have now spent a third of my life in Kanata and I still have not shifted my way of thinking about transportation. One thing that has been on my mind lately is what is considered too far for a kid to get to himself. Trev is going to be starting grade 1 next year and this is the magic time when kids start to walk to the school by themselves. That is, in places I grew up in, Zagreb and Montreal, kids walk to school by themselves. Kanata, I don’t know. So instead of complaining about suburban helicopter parenting, which is more likely to make me look like judgemental snot than other parents paranoid tyrants, I will examine my own childhood and what I did at particular ages:

Grade 1 (age 6): Walked to school every day (500m). Most days I walked with my neighbour who was 6 months older than me and in grade 2. I stayed home on my own for several hours and had a latch key. Though I was theoretically on my own, the next door neighbour was always reachable and she looked out for me.

Grade 3 (age 9): Took tram to dance school (2.5km) 3 days a week during the day (school was half days). Longest routine walking trip on my own was 1.5km

Grade 5 (age 11): Changed schools so had to walk or tram 1.2km to get there. At this point I was walking or biking (in Zagreb sidewalk biking represents most of the bike modal share) around my neighbourhood and central Zagreb.

Grade 7 (age 13): Was able to get off the train in Rijeka and go to my grandma’s house, bike to Sava in Zagreb (5 km with one or two nasty traffic intersections), navigate central Zagreb up until 9PM. Sometimes I staid out later and did not feel unsafe but my parents freaked out a bit.

Age 15: Navigated Montreal until 10PM. Biked as far as Ile Sainte Helene but abandoned biking because it was not convenient (I lived on a big hill attached to a big road). I would go anywhere in central Montreal without much fuss. The furthest regular trip was to the volunteering site 7.7 km away (two busses)

Age 17+: Went pretty much anywhere I needed to go whenever I needed to get there by walking or public transit. Did not have access to family car and did not meet Chris (who had a car) until I was 19.

So what is going to be my policy on what I expect and allow my kids to do? Are we going to let Trev stay on his own in the house in the morning and lock up before going to school next year? If not then then when? If he wants to visit a friend in Kanata Lakes when he is 13 am I going to pick him up with the car at 8:30PM or is he expected to walk home in the dark? If he has to go somewhere that will take him 45 minutes by bus and/or walking to get to when he is 15 am I going to drop everything I am doing and drive him there because it is just too far? What are the social implications of us expecting our kids to get everywhere by their own devices when their friends get lifts?